How to make and maintain mom friends (5 easy ways)
You may be a new mom or a seasoned mom, but one thing is FOR SURE: Moms need some dear and true friends in their life! These 5 easy ways to make and maintain mom friends are sure to help you build new friendships and nurture the friends you already have!
What if I’m a busy mom with little time to spend with new (& old) mom friends?
The good news is busy moms are all in the same boat. Time is taken up with caring for children and all the mom things! Many moms feel they have a hard time making friends in this season of busy schedules.
But these 5 easy ways to make and maintain friends for moms are doable in this busy season of life! Just doing small things here and there add up to a blessing in new friendships and old friends alike!
Do moms really need good friendships with other moms?
Studies have shown the importance and benefit of moms having close friends at all stages of motherhood.
[Read more on one such recent study at Cornell University HERE]
Sometimes moms can think they don’t need any friends outside of their own family members. Family is great, but moms also need healthy relationships outside their family circle too.
Studies have shown that moms handle the stresses of parenting better and overall enjoy a greater sense of well being just having supportive, true friends in their life.
Plus it’s just an added benefit that kids grow in their own social skills when Mom has friends surrounding them!
Let’s get to these 5 great ways to make and keep mom friends!
1st way to make and maintain mom friends- initiate play dates with other moms!
When you have little kids, one of the greatest way to get to know other moms is to get together for a play date. This is an easy way for moms to have a social life!
When weather permits, it’s a great idea to ask one or a few other moms meet you at a nearby park.
Kids play, moms get a little talk time, and everybody wins! For stay at home moms, it’s fun to bring a picnic lunch and just enjoy a little time together.
A working mom can initiate a playdate on the weekends or after work. Spending time (even if it’s quick) with other mom friends can be energizing down time for a working parent!
Another way to meet up with others in a playdate is to invite another mom and her kid(s) over to your house. A quick phone call or text message to invite them is easy to do!
I have gotten to know so many other dear mom friends this way. Our kids play together and we get to enjoy talking and parenting together for that time!
Do your kids need to be old enough to run and play at a playground?
Not at all!
Moms with a baby need friends just as much!
Invite a fellow mom with a new baby over for a little while, and you will see it’s so sweet to enjoy fellowship with another mom that way too! Even if the babies are being fed and changed the whole time!
You don’t need to feel like it’s a big time commitment either. Playdates can be just meeting up for a short quality time and getting to know other moms while enjoying your kids together.
I have found that it’s a great idea to have a goal of initiating a playdate once a week when your kids are little. Soon you will find that you are truly making new friendships and/or nurturing friends you already have.
2nd way to make and maintain mom friends- plug in to your local church!
If you are a follower of Christ, I hope you have a local church you can call your own.
(If you are not a Christian but desire to learn more and have questions, visiting a solid local church can be a great way to make those connections and get questions answered.)
A solid Biblical church is one of God’s great gifts to us. So definitely don’t just go to a church. A lot of people do that and wonder why they don’t feel connected. Actually get in there and plug in.
What does “plug in to your church” mean? Actually going regularly and finding a place to serve.
When you do that, you will meet alot of people, many of whom are other moms! Worshipping and growing in your faith together brings a depth to friendships for sure.
Churches often have many things in place to encourage moms such as Bible studies, classes, and events for mothers. So do plug in to your local church and watch how that naturally leads to making new mom friends (who often become great friends) and maintaining friends you already have at your church!
3rd way to make and maintain mom friends- utilize mom groups on social media!
If you are a new mom or new to an area OR if you live in a bigger city, social media can actually be a way to meet and connect with other moms! There are Facebook groups for moms that are geographically organized.
Check out what mom groups are out there that are local to you. What you will find is not that you meet other moms and develop a meaningful friendship over social media, but that you learn about events and playdates that moms can go to.
I enjoyed taking my boys when they were little to different plays and seasonal things like pumpkin patches and apple orchards in my area.
When you go to such events, you often meet other moms and new friendships begin! You might just meet your new best friend!
Social media has many cons for sure, but one great way to leverage social media is to use it to help introduce you to other moms and gatherings for moms and children.
4th way to make and maintain mom friends- pay attention to the little things (and the big things too)!
When you are talking to a new mom friend or a mom friend you’ve had for awhile, it’s simple.
Pay attention to the little things!
This is basic friendship knowledge, but we all need to be reminded of this at times. What I mean is be a good listener. Pay attention to things going on in your friend’s life.
- If she tells you her baby isn’t sleeping well at night or that her mom is having surgery next week, make a mental note of that!
- Then text or call her a few days later and ask how it has gone and/or that you hope all is well with whatever the detail was.
Show that you care. Offering that support absolutely builds friendships.
Just like it would bless and encourage you if a friend paid attention to what you’ve shared -be it more on the surface or deeper- and asked you about it the next time you saw them.
When I’ve texted someone recently to ask how her child’s first day at school was, I could tell it meant a lot that I remembered that and took the time (which is actually only a minute!) to write her!
And one time in what was really a quick conversation with a fellow mom I met out at the soccer field, I mentioned an author that helped me with a parenting issue that this mom said she was having. It really was a quick conversation that I barely remember.
But literally 3 years later, our paths crossed again, and she came up to me and told me that she did go buy a book from that author. She said it helped her so very much. And she had always been so thankful that I had introduced her in those tough times!
This shows what I want you to know about yourself: YOU have much to offer the people around you. Maybe it’s a listening ear, maybe a nugget of wisdom, maybe fun companionship.
You definitely have many things to offer.
So enjoy paying attention to those little things and big things alike in conversations with others. Then reach out with quick texts or calls or simply asking them about it when you see them.
It’s a good idea to be the friend you want other mom friends to be to you, and you will often find some true kindred spirits along the way!
5th way to make and maintain mom friends- Make the most of your kids involvement in activities!
As you know, there are all kinds of extra curricular activities your kids can be involved in.
For babies there are
- Mommy and Me exercise classes
- Mommy and Me swim lessons
- Kinder Music class and more!
When kids are older, extracurricular activities can include
- music lessons
- church activities for kids, and more!
Instead of just taking your kid to and from these activities, make a point to meet atleast one other mom at each activity your child!
These are moms in your exact same boat with atleast one kid the age and stage of your child!
That alone is enough in common interests to be the beginning of a new mom friendship!
Many of these extracurricular activities only last a season, so you have the opportunity to meet many other moms in similar situations as the seasons change.
So be intentional and maybe as a first step, come to pick up you child a little early and just introduce yourself to another mom who is waiting. Just easy small talk.
When I do this, I always am so glad I did. Then the next time I see them, we say hi and are able to talk again. Over time amd often times, this mom of another child on the sports team becomes a friend!
If you stay at any of the activities for your kids, it can be fun to ask a couple of the moms who are waiting as well to walk during that time. A great time to get needed exercise and fellowship!
So don’t let those seasons of your child’s activities go by without you meeting new mom friends or catching up with old friends!
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS ON WAYS TO MAKE AND MAINTAIN MOM FRIENDS…
A sweet friendship refreshes the soul. It does take time to build friendships and especially new mom friends with all that mom life involves.
But it is GOOD NEWS that these 5 ways to make and maintain mom friends are easy and doable right in the thick of mom life! Let me know how it goes!